How to Have a Horrible Audition

Auditions are the ultimate test of skill for musicians. By high school, you should have taken at least 1 audition.

Why are auditions even a thing? Why can’t we make music together? More on that in this article

We’re using this post to answer the question: How do I prepare for an audition?

WAIT…. How about we flip the script? Instead, let's ask:

How to Have the WORST Audition Ever:

1. Don’t Show Up

This seems quite obvious. But if you don’t show up to play, then you’re guaranteed not to have a good result from the audition!

Definitely do not set multiple alarms on your phone. Do not leave your house well enough in advance. Do not have multiple options for travel arrangements.

For virtual auditions: Do not charge your computer. Do not test your microphones or audio setup. Don’t be aware of the deadline to submit your recording.

2. Show Up Unrested or Sick

If you are trying to have a horrible audition, showing up with a good night’s rest would not be a good idea. You need your brain to function at its lowest ability.

The best way to ensure a terrible audition is to overthink it for weeks before. This will likely induce anxiety, throw off your sleep, and make you more susceptible to being sick on the day of. Perfect! If that’s your goal…

3. Don’t Practice — at all!

The biggie. It’s simple: if you don’t pick up your instrument and become aware of the requirements, you won’t succeed at the audition!

If you’re trying to have an awful outcome, then we recommend that you:

• Do not set a weekly, progressive, practice schedule.

• Don’t have a practice buddy / someone holding you accountable for staying on track.

• Do not work on the fundamentals or details required to play the audition material.

4. Do Not Ask for Help in Preparation

Even though you have multiple avenues for finding feedback on your playing (your band director, peers, your private teacher, your Instagram followers, etc), do not ask a single person for feedback. When you ask for feedback, you'll have to be honest with yourself and accept that you are not good enough yet -- UGH! Sounds awful!

Just assume that you know everything, and then you will fail. 😁

This is getting out of hand...

Hopefully you understand that this post is satire - however, it is meant to 'strike a chord' with anyone who is preparing for an audition or has taken one in the past (with subpar results).

By just DOING THE OPPOSITE of the 4 points above, you will learn a lot from any audition. That is the goal of the process.